Yep, you read that right.
I'm literally lost.
I'm in a.. What do you call it? Identity crisis, yep.
It's like, I don't know what I truly want. When people have their own signature style in clothing and Instagram feed, I'm lost with what mine is. Sometimes I dress cute but I'm afraid it's not appropriate with my age. Sometimes I dress effortless chic but once again, I'm afraid it's makes me look childish. As a matter of fact, I hate to dress up, unless it's an important event. Daily, I prefer something easy and comfortable with. But they say, we should dress up every time to shows our professionalism. Until now, I'm still lost about this. I can't buy clothes since I'm afraid I won't use them anymore in awhile. Mostly I bought clothes cos I found them cute and nice, but I didn't think for the long term part. Will I be able to use it often and long time? It takes infinite time for me to think before I buy them now.
The same as Insta feed. Looking at my Insta feed, I hate it. Looks all messy, no identity and signature shows in it. Even the frame and tone all have different shapes and color filters. That's why I rarely post anything nowadays. I'm still trying to figure out what my style is. Some of you might think Social Media is not a major thing in life, but in my industry, it's shows our work, skill, taste and personality. Literally it shows who you are. In order to get good impression in the digital industry, well, I gotta manage the look of it. Sometimes I envy Millennial kids. They learnt SocMed from a very young age and that's an incredible amount of privilege I think. SocMed gives a great opportunity ahead in their near future.
In addition to all my mess, I just don't know how to put myself in public anymore. It's a right thing to be nice, polite and properly behaved in order to struggle in this messy world, but I hate faking it. Being fake is a hard job, y'know. It takes a great amount of energy and mind power in it, but the real me is just too bad.. like utterly badddd. If I ever hang loose of the monsters within, I'll be super wicked and that can't be good, even for my loved ones. I don't wanna hurt anybody but I'm just being me and people can't handle me. I just don't know what to do anymore. Being the real me or the fake me. Eenie meenie miney mo.. I think I need to see a Psychiatrist before I go depressed. Help me get outta this, universe.
What's Wrong With People?
What's wrong with them? Really..
Since I cut my hair short, everyone has been asking me, "why?". Then I replied, "why not?".
I don't know what's wrong with having a short haircut. Like it's a sin or something. People's brain is too mainstream nowadays, too general in a way. Like it's a must for a woman having long hair. Some of them even said this, "kenapa lu? stress?". Like wtf mann.. Like I know how to respond to that shitty question.
Come on, this is 2017. I can even have my hair bald or colorful like the unicorn if I want it. I bet the future hair will be like the movie Hunger Games, like all the people's hair in the Capitol.
I don't know whether they asked me "why" just to find something to talk to or formality or whatever. Anyhow, I really think people should change the way they see things already. Be more open, rather than, asking why, you'd rather ask how. I personally never ask people why they cut their hair, I just comment it like how they look like, if it's good then I said it, if it's not then I said it too. That's it, not the stupid "why", like it's a wrong thing to do it.
Anyhow, I'm SUPER DUPER in love with my current hair! Like I never wanted to have long hair anymore, like I could keep this cut forever and I wouldn't mind. Long hair is very hard to keep and maintain. Especially when it's thick and dry, and stiff, and damage like mine, ugh.. I have to wash it, then condition it, then dry it, then curling it.. It's just too much okay, too much for the current me. Especially in this kind of hot weather. Especially when I spent most of my traveling around done by Public Transportation. Especially when I like walking around for my effortless sport.
At first, I was so afraid to cut it this short. I was afraid I'd regret it. I was afraid I'd miss my long hair. I was afraid I won't look good with it. I was afraid I'd look super fat with it lol. I wanna do this from long time ago, but I always bury the will. But then, I was so eager to do this. No matter what rejections my heart said about it. I even given the thought to cut it myself lol. Now, I thank myself for did the right thing. I was super happy and thank God, it turned out the way I want it. It feels like I have no hair at all. So light. No burden. Got nothing clingy on my hair. Got nothing disturbs me from hair-pinched while I try to sleep and of course it's easier to play with the kids without having my hair pulled by their aggressive behavior lol.
I was so inspired by Korean Actress haircut like IU, Park Bo Young, and of course from Korean Online Shop Models hehe.. So, don't even wonder if I look a lot like Korean-ish style.. Then, I read this article that said short Bob haircut is trending in 2017. Wow.. I don't even know that.
HELL YEAH, SUCK IT DUDE. EMBRACE IT. YOU LIVE IN THE 2017. NOT THE 90'S!!
Since I cut my hair short, everyone has been asking me, "why?". Then I replied, "why not?".
I don't know what's wrong with having a short haircut. Like it's a sin or something. People's brain is too mainstream nowadays, too general in a way. Like it's a must for a woman having long hair. Some of them even said this, "kenapa lu? stress?". Like wtf mann.. Like I know how to respond to that shitty question.
Come on, this is 2017. I can even have my hair bald or colorful like the unicorn if I want it. I bet the future hair will be like the movie Hunger Games, like all the people's hair in the Capitol.
I don't know whether they asked me "why" just to find something to talk to or formality or whatever. Anyhow, I really think people should change the way they see things already. Be more open, rather than, asking why, you'd rather ask how. I personally never ask people why they cut their hair, I just comment it like how they look like, if it's good then I said it, if it's not then I said it too. That's it, not the stupid "why", like it's a wrong thing to do it.
Anyhow, I'm SUPER DUPER in love with my current hair! Like I never wanted to have long hair anymore, like I could keep this cut forever and I wouldn't mind. Long hair is very hard to keep and maintain. Especially when it's thick and dry, and stiff, and damage like mine, ugh.. I have to wash it, then condition it, then dry it, then curling it.. It's just too much okay, too much for the current me. Especially in this kind of hot weather. Especially when I spent most of my traveling around done by Public Transportation. Especially when I like walking around for my effortless sport.
At first, I was so afraid to cut it this short. I was afraid I'd regret it. I was afraid I'd miss my long hair. I was afraid I won't look good with it. I was afraid I'd look super fat with it lol. I wanna do this from long time ago, but I always bury the will. But then, I was so eager to do this. No matter what rejections my heart said about it. I even given the thought to cut it myself lol. Now, I thank myself for did the right thing. I was super happy and thank God, it turned out the way I want it. It feels like I have no hair at all. So light. No burden. Got nothing clingy on my hair. Got nothing disturbs me from hair-pinched while I try to sleep and of course it's easier to play with the kids without having my hair pulled by their aggressive behavior lol.
I was so inspired by Korean Actress haircut like IU, Park Bo Young, and of course from Korean Online Shop Models hehe.. So, don't even wonder if I look a lot like Korean-ish style.. Then, I read this article that said short Bob haircut is trending in 2017. Wow.. I don't even know that.
HELL YEAH, SUCK IT DUDE. EMBRACE IT. YOU LIVE IN THE 2017. NOT THE 90'S!!
Movie Review #Mar17
Logan (2017)
Aduh sedih banget deh liat orang tua tuh rapuh dan ga tangguh lagi kayak dulu. Rasanya mending Charles mati waktu di X3 kan, lebih honorable rasanya. Anyway, there's something wrong about this movie. Koq Wolverine bisa menua? Ingat ga film Wolverine waktu jaman perang di Hiroshima Jepang sampe jaman sekarang dia masih hidup gitu koq, seger buger, ga aging, makanya kan kekuatannya diincer sama musuhnya yang di Jepang itu, karna mau awet mudanya. Eh tetau 2030 ceritanya uda tuir. Make sense? Lebih ke maksa, and I don't think Cancer is the problem.
Regression (2015)
Menarik. I saw a different side of Emma Watson here, which is good. Dia ga ambil peran yang monoton, dan yang pasti filmnya cukup bikin penasaran. Will it end the way I predict it? The answer is yes though I enjoyed it still.
Beauty & The Beast (2017)
Better than Cinderella in so many ways I think. The songs, the casts, the soundtrack lol.
Galih & Ratna (2017)
Jadi ada yang menarik waktu nonton ini. Ada opa di kursi roda di dalem studio. Baru tau kalau disabled gitu duduknya paling depan karna ga bisa naek tangga. Sedih loh. Mereka kan uda beli tiket padahal tapi ga bisa milih seat :( rasanya nyess aja gitu semua diatas dan bisa liat dia sendirian nonton dibawah, dengan kepala mendongak selama satu setengah jam itu pasti capek banget. Tapi dia rela. Pasti film ini dulunya pernah ada kesan yang mendalam buat dia, sampe dia rela segitunya. Dan oh ya, ngomong-ngomong soal seat di bioskop, duduk di row G aja uda bikin gue pusing ternyata, apalagi paling depan gitu kan. Fyi, selama ini gue pasti maunya di row A/B/C. Kalau orang sukanya duduk di row tengah, mungkin biar lebih berasa filmnya atau gimana, tapi gue merasa it's too close and too hard for me to absorb. I wanna see it in the bigger picture, know what I mean? Kalau dekat lu cuma bisa liat satu objek aja tapi kalau jauh, gue bisa liat keseluruhan gambarnya. Karna background setting penting juga buat pecinta dan penikmat film kayak gue. Sutradara dan crew uda capek-capek gitu bikin setting masa di anggap lalu gitu aja :) eh jadi curhat disini ;p
Filmnya sendiri gue suka koq, feelnya mirip-mirip Lalaland, termasuk endingnya haha.. gue gatau sih apakah film aslinya jalan ceritanya emang gitu atau ga. Semoga ga bikin si opa kecewa deh pokoknya :)
The Huntsman : Winter's War (2016)
There're so many wrong things about this movie. First, Sara was told to be death by Evil Queen's brother in Snow White. Now? Koq lain banget pisan euy. Second, how Eric survived from the woods while the bridge is broken, somehow doesn't make any sense to me. Third, too much adult's romance for Snow White's sequel.
Kate & Leopold (2001)
Koq gue baru inget ada film macam gini ya. Rasanya familiar tapi lupa ama ceritanya. Anyway, film ini rasanya magical. Rasanya pernah gue dapetin feel yang sama, somewhere, in other movie, but I can't remember.
The Butterfly Effect (2004)
Oke dulu uda pernah nonton ini tapi lupa, then I rewatched it. Keren parah ah. Feelnya dalem banget. Seumur idup nya dia berusaha make everything's right but then everything just go wrong. Until he has to sacrifice his love for this girl :(
Ghost in The Shell (2017)
Unfortunately, the plot is kinda predicted, way too normal. I expected a more twisted kind of plot. But, the whole story idea is quite brilliant I think, seeing it from the Japanese perspective.
Aduh sedih banget deh liat orang tua tuh rapuh dan ga tangguh lagi kayak dulu. Rasanya mending Charles mati waktu di X3 kan, lebih honorable rasanya. Anyway, there's something wrong about this movie. Koq Wolverine bisa menua? Ingat ga film Wolverine waktu jaman perang di Hiroshima Jepang sampe jaman sekarang dia masih hidup gitu koq, seger buger, ga aging, makanya kan kekuatannya diincer sama musuhnya yang di Jepang itu, karna mau awet mudanya. Eh tetau 2030 ceritanya uda tuir. Make sense? Lebih ke maksa, and I don't think Cancer is the problem.
Regression (2015)
Menarik. I saw a different side of Emma Watson here, which is good. Dia ga ambil peran yang monoton, dan yang pasti filmnya cukup bikin penasaran. Will it end the way I predict it? The answer is yes though I enjoyed it still.
Beauty & The Beast (2017)
Better than Cinderella in so many ways I think. The songs, the casts, the soundtrack lol.
Galih & Ratna (2017)
Jadi ada yang menarik waktu nonton ini. Ada opa di kursi roda di dalem studio. Baru tau kalau disabled gitu duduknya paling depan karna ga bisa naek tangga. Sedih loh. Mereka kan uda beli tiket padahal tapi ga bisa milih seat :( rasanya nyess aja gitu semua diatas dan bisa liat dia sendirian nonton dibawah, dengan kepala mendongak selama satu setengah jam itu pasti capek banget. Tapi dia rela. Pasti film ini dulunya pernah ada kesan yang mendalam buat dia, sampe dia rela segitunya. Dan oh ya, ngomong-ngomong soal seat di bioskop, duduk di row G aja uda bikin gue pusing ternyata, apalagi paling depan gitu kan. Fyi, selama ini gue pasti maunya di row A/B/C. Kalau orang sukanya duduk di row tengah, mungkin biar lebih berasa filmnya atau gimana, tapi gue merasa it's too close and too hard for me to absorb. I wanna see it in the bigger picture, know what I mean? Kalau dekat lu cuma bisa liat satu objek aja tapi kalau jauh, gue bisa liat keseluruhan gambarnya. Karna background setting penting juga buat pecinta dan penikmat film kayak gue. Sutradara dan crew uda capek-capek gitu bikin setting masa di anggap lalu gitu aja :) eh jadi curhat disini ;p
Filmnya sendiri gue suka koq, feelnya mirip-mirip Lalaland, termasuk endingnya haha.. gue gatau sih apakah film aslinya jalan ceritanya emang gitu atau ga. Semoga ga bikin si opa kecewa deh pokoknya :)
The Huntsman : Winter's War (2016)
There're so many wrong things about this movie. First, Sara was told to be death by Evil Queen's brother in Snow White. Now? Koq lain banget pisan euy. Second, how Eric survived from the woods while the bridge is broken, somehow doesn't make any sense to me. Third, too much adult's romance for Snow White's sequel.
Kate & Leopold (2001)
Koq gue baru inget ada film macam gini ya. Rasanya familiar tapi lupa ama ceritanya. Anyway, film ini rasanya magical. Rasanya pernah gue dapetin feel yang sama, somewhere, in other movie, but I can't remember.
The Butterfly Effect (2004)
Oke dulu uda pernah nonton ini tapi lupa, then I rewatched it. Keren parah ah. Feelnya dalem banget. Seumur idup nya dia berusaha make everything's right but then everything just go wrong. Until he has to sacrifice his love for this girl :(
Ghost in The Shell (2017)
Unfortunately, the plot is kinda predicted, way too normal. I expected a more twisted kind of plot. But, the whole story idea is quite brilliant I think, seeing it from the Japanese perspective.
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