Speaking of dreams, i've experienced nightmares quite much lately. One of it was happened couple days ago. I quite forgot the whole story of it but what i clearly remember is that it was about my mom and the situation was really frustating to me. Something was happened to me and my mom but i can't remember what happened. In my dream, i need someone to help us so desperately til' i woke up and realizing i just screamed "Help!" then i was like running out of my breath and stared helplessly at my room's ceiling.
It's been a long time since i had nightmares about my mom, remembering how much i did when i was a kid which i always ended up crying. It was always about my fear as if i'm gonna lose her. The dreams were always about me being left behind by my mom and she was 'stolen' by another guy and she had a new family. From that experiences, i used to assumes that if i woke up crying over nightmares about someone, it means i love them much. I know the ratio of a kid having nightmares are much more than an adult.
As i grow older, my dreams are getting more real than before. Sometimes i'm afraid of my own dreams, afraid if i'm gonna stuck in one of it and can't even awake anymore. I even had the 'inception' thing once or twice. Fuck me right? I thought it only happen in movies. I don't think this is normal. No wonder if there are many artists that gone nuts because of their too creative and imaginative brain. I hate having my brain like this or maybe i'm just not grateful enough or too much movies i've seen. Maybe i only had two options with a brain like mine, nuts or suicide. Exaggerating of course
Like one of my nightmares that i had when i stayed at Serpong on Eid Mubarak holiday last August. Before the nightmare, i'm already got acute paranoid from an unknown voice i heard when i'm ready to sleep in my bed, i didn't even dare to move a finger! lebay This is a rare thing to me whom always think positive whenever hearing an unknown voice "Ah it must be the air conditioner" or "Probably just a lizard or cockroach" (yikes) then i didn't expect the paranoid would continue to my dream. The nightmare was so terrifying til' i tried to wake myself up by trying to pinch my hand and my cheek. It did work. It changed to another visual and situation which is more terrifying then i realized i haven't really wake up, it was just an inception. Then i pinch and punch myself harder and harder, i just wished to wake up and escaped from the nightmare! Then yes.. I did. And again, i stared horrifyingly across the room, my whole body was so tense and frozen, the fear still followed me. I remember it was about 5am when i woke up. I still asleep and tired, i felt very weak, needed a lot more time to rest but i'm too afraid to fell asleep again. So i just forced myself to open my eyes, turn on my song's playlist loudly, trying not to get asleep anymore. I even think i don't wanna sleep in that room anymore. But then i realized that the unknown voice i heard last night was only a voice of a plastic bag got blown by the AC. Then that night i slept well like a baby again.
Mimpi adalah kunci
Untuk kita menaklukkan dunia
Berlarilah tanpa lelah
Sampai engkau meraihnya
Dream a dream
And see through
Angel's eyes
A place where
We can fly away
