"It's okay to love someone who doesn't love you back,
as long as that person worthy to be loved,
as long as that person deserved to be loved."
Sophie - Clockwork Angel
Season's greetings
It's been a year already since my last christmas's greetings.
But not much changes that occur. Especially in me.
Sometimes i think i should live alone, away from all that i love.
For everybody's sake.
I ruin everything.
Hurt anyone.
Anyone i love.
I truly hate myself for being like this shit.
I'm not deserved and worthy enough to live, for my heart's a devilish thing.
If i had a chance to provide life to someone worthy enough, i wouldn't hesitate to give away mine.
But i don't regret having it, i just hate when i hurt everyone i love and seeing them cry because of me, it feels like..Hell.
I feel bad.
A real badass.
I can't forgive myself.I wanna say sorry.
But i'm afraid i'll drop my tears at once.I really should practice to say sorry a lot when i think i'm not wrong.
"Saying sorry doesn't always mean you're wrong, it just means you value the relationship more than your ego"
But hey,
this is christmas!
And i'm not here to make any of you feel sorry for me :)
Just asking for a pray from any of you for a better me, better personality.
So this is it..
M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S
May this christmas bring joys, hopes, and faith to all of you for God's love is infinite.
You thought you know her but apparently you don't.
Don't act like you've known me for years. Duh.. we're even only met once.
Intended to people who judge me often recently.
You know.. When you first saw her, there's nothing come up in your mind except, "just another ordinary girl with long hair." Well, that happened to me too. From my first sight, i saw a pale-skin girl, quite messy-thick-ash hair and quite plump from average girl i've ever seen. First impression was.. okay. She's nice, not much talking, i didn't say she's pretty but also not ugly. That's it. No more than that.
And after a few encounters, intentional or unintentional, i discovered that.. She's different. This is awkward and weird to say but, after our first met, i can't barely take my eyes from her. I don't know why and how this is really could happen but.. i was very sure that.. she's special in my eyes.
I know she's not that talkative to a stranger but she can be one to her close one. She often lost in her own world and her eyes look empty.. more look like sad i think and when she frown to this, all i wanna do is to hold and hug her at my most for i never can't stand to see her sad. At a glance, she might seen as a cheerful girl but she also frown to be a deep thinker and introvert one.
Music affects her a lot. It's easier to me to speak to her through a song and one hundred percent she will go deep into it. She's the type that will sing and dance along a song easily anywhere and anytime. And one thing i'm very sure about is, she tends to be a very spoiled and irresistible girl only to her special someone. (I hope it's me!)
I know she often pretend to be strong but she will easily cry on a movie which signify that she's not as strong as she look on the outside. She hates when it comes to cloudy where she can't find her light blue sky and her bright sun. And when she hates something, i tend to hate it too 'cause i hate when i can't see her smile. And all i can do is cheering her up. She's easily laugh to most at my jokes. I don't know whether i'm talented to be a comedian or not, the most important thing that.. i'm succeed to make her laughing.
Sometimes she also can be a pain in the ass for being a moody. I don't know why but.. i never can't blame her or mad at her. I don't mind being object of her bad mood impingement. All i want is just she's back to her good mood and cheer up like she uses to be. Most of the times, she is wishy-washy when it comes to choices. It's quite funny when you watched her gone "eenie-meenie-miney-moe".
She likes to be treated gently and romantic. She also likes surprises. From all of the presents i ever give to her, she likes to receive flowers the most. And what i like from her the most is that, she's not the type that consider someone based on his/her degrees, wealth or position, but she consider someone based on their nature and behavior. (wow, i'm confident enough on this)
For all the upside down i feel with her, one thing i knew that.. i'd never can live without see her smile, hear her voice, feel her breath when she sleeps next to me, lean on me while she's asleep, and feel her presence anytime anywhere, everyminute and everyday. From that beliefs, i will stand tall with greatness on my life whether she's destinied to be with me or not. For i won't ever give up until my last breath to achieve my dream to be with her until we're old.
Recent wishlist
1. brown-leather boots2. chiffon pink tank bangkok stuff
3. get a lot of bagdes on foursquare
4. brown postman bag
5. fits-on-my-foot heels
6. semi formal party dress
7. babylist curling iron
8. nice warm sweater
Recent craving on
1. macarons
2. soho
3. tokyo kitchen CP
4. hakkata ikkousha ramen
5. holycow steak
1. macarons
2. soho
3. tokyo kitchen CP
4. hakkata ikkousha ramen
5. holycow steak
Recent Fave Songs
1. Ost DnAngel - mitsumeru saki ni wa
2. Richard Clayderman - a child in the silent morning
3. LMFAO - party rock anthem
2. Richard Clayderman - a child in the silent morning
3. LMFAO - party rock anthem
4. Whitney Houston - Run to you
source : Tumblr (part I)
4. She doesn’t have enough credit to text you back
5. She wants you to call her instead
6. She's too busy
Kate Upton heats up Guess collection.
 | ||
| I heart the wardrobe ! |
 |
| Love her white tank ! |
 |
| I want the pants. |
 |
| She posed on the floor? |
 |
| Adore her perfect body |
I believe most of you had already seen some of these pictures around. Yes, indeed. Her pictures can be seen mostly at Malls. As the role model of my most favourite brand of clothes, yes she is awesomely perfect for this job. Don't you think she is adorable and stunning?
What a various life of others.
I supposed ta had an outing trip with my office on this 23rd. But on the 22nd afternoon, Ken asked me whether if i wanna be a part of Wave crew prod for Rnb rave party at waterboom PIK. I'm dying to be on that event since their first ticket presale open. But due to something, i decided to go on my office outing instead of the party.
And thennnnn.. This dilemma came and went through my mind a lot. On one side, i really wanna go to the outing since i planned to handle the documentary part. On the other side, i never been to a rave party before !
Argh !
What a dilemma..
But then after being wishy washy for about an hour,
i finally told Ken that i'd joined him.
So the long-awaited day finally came. I terribly sleepy yet excited. On my faired opinion, the whole Wave crew were still not "pro" enough to handle such a big event.
Still, they went through it smooth enough.
Still, they went through it smooth enough.
And my cousin, bro Ferry, dragged me to gathered with his mostly-drunk friends and forced me to drink some too T.T
Since that time, I feel sorry for him for what he and his family experienced which make him a total life waster till now. Very unfortunate if it happened to one of our family member. I've lost my father and i don't wanna add one more to my dead-relatives'-list. May God always be with them. I love every each of my family members.
Since that time, I feel sorry for him for what he and his family experienced which make him a total life waster till now. Very unfortunate if it happened to one of our family member. I've lost my father and i don't wanna add one more to my dead-relatives'-list. May God always be with them. I love every each of my family members.
Hello Tears :')
Another Korean movie added to my cry-movie-list is this, you bet, Hello Ghost.
I just watched it recently. And the result is, as you all know, i wet my face, my whole tissue, and tears all over my hands. I barely hold the tears down and breath heavilly since lot of snot on my nose.
IT SUCK !
Maybe others laughed at me at the movie, since they love to teased the cry one.
I hate it, hate it.
Is there any way to stop this cry-baby-nonsense-disease?
If you have one, tell me. I'm sick enough crying in the middle of a crowd.
At the first thirty minute the movie goes, i think it's quite flat. The joke is cheap.
I find it quite weird to see people laugh their ass off when i found myself just smile. Well, i must say Cha Tae Hyun have the right to receive the oscar for his act. There were scenes where i wanna punch him for his oh-so-hate expression.
And how i amazed by the way Korean male actor's cry act. They seems so natural and will absolutely invites you to cry too. And that works for me.
I love this movie. For someways, i had the same feeling of loneliness with Sang Man had.
And those attempts of suicide will absolutely not gonna work out.
So in the end, it's all you and your mind which have to team up together to build a happy life.
Glad that i still have my great family by myside. -MCD
I'll miss this town.
It's been 3 weeks since i'm in Surabaya.
Assigned from my head office to train new branch office here for a month.
I don't complain.
I like it here though.
Away from your hometown is a lot better than i imagined.
All my burdens are left behind on J town and my mind set me free here :)
And i got some friends from my temporary residence.
We have the same job and religion.
Lucky me i guess :) thanks to God for sending them to accompany me here.
They're so kind and i'll miss them for sure when i come back home.
On 29th June, it's a public holiday and they ask me to go to pasar atum together.
In Jakarta, this place is similar with Mangga dua,
full of boutiques which is not good.
I wanna buy everything !!
The price is cheaper than Jakarta i think.
But the quality is the same.
The uniqueness of this place is many people go there to eat.
Many and many of variant foods are serve there.
Most of them are made of pork and shrimp.
I also gonna buy lots of souvenir here for my relative in J town.
For the culinary travel, this place is similar to Glodok.
Not feeling well, our plan to next destination was cancelled for having me bed rest :(
Fefe borrowed me her PS 2 \(´▽`)/ and gladly the next day i'm strong as horse again :D
Maybe that's what they called, "hati yang gembira adalah obat yang terbaik"
Attraversiamo
Did you guys ever watch the movie?
It's a famous drama in 2010 based on a book casted by Julia Robert.
I know it's quite late to discussed it now.
But it's ok, never say never ;)
From some source i've been ask,
many have said this movie was flat and boring.
So not for boys.
Butttttt...
Once again i have different thought.
This movie represents me too well.
Same with the main character, Liz,
i've gone through some heartache, broken heart and other problems in life.
I've ever lose my appetite (which i got it back again somehow), guilt, blaming myself, can't forgive myself for hurting someone, and finding it hard to move on.
I just love how the movie represent the same way that i feel recently.
I just need me to forgive myself.
And let myself free from all the guilts, burdens.
When she saw her India's friend wedding and suddenly remembered hers,
and when she had this feeling with his ex-husband on their once-again-wedding-dance, i can't barely hold my tears..
And howwww.. i love Felipe.
His name might sound like a Spanish woman but from the depiction in the film, i can tell that he is a mature kind of a man and we have the same taste in musics.
I do wonder a lot about what song was being played on Felipe's car when he first met Liz.
For James Franco, i love him more as Harry Osborn on Spidy-trilogy rather than here.
One more thing for sure, this movie successfully making me wanna travel the world.
My starry night
On a windy night,
I saw it.
I saw it up on my dark blue sky.
Shining with its own power.
Twinkling on and on.
Making other things up there gone invisible.
Feels like it saying "hi" and smiling on me.
Making my blue night goes awesome,
just by seeing its blinking light.
Do you mind telling me your name?
Or what you are?
Or at least your orbit?
Can i have you?
Can i named you for i am the one that notice your beauty,
your presence,
your light
for all this time?
Or someone else already did?
How can i find he/she?
So that i can ask them to give you to me.
Cause i want you so bad.
I wanna have you on my every night.
Shining on my sleepless eyes.
Accompany me to the world where i can touch you for real.
I'm lucky.
I'm so damn lucky to have ever seen you.
God really loves me for He gave me this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
I could never expect more than this,
for how great thou art.
I love my life for having thee in it. -MCD
I saw it.
I saw it up on my dark blue sky.
Shining with its own power.
Twinkling on and on.
Making other things up there gone invisible.
Feels like it saying "hi" and smiling on me.
Making my blue night goes awesome,
just by seeing its blinking light.
Do you mind telling me your name?
Or what you are?
Or at least your orbit?
Can i have you?
Can i named you for i am the one that notice your beauty,
your presence,
your light
for all this time?
Or someone else already did?
How can i find he/she?
So that i can ask them to give you to me.
Cause i want you so bad.
I wanna have you on my every night.
Shining on my sleepless eyes.
Accompany me to the world where i can touch you for real.
I'm lucky.
I'm so damn lucky to have ever seen you.
God really loves me for He gave me this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
I could never expect more than this,
for how great thou art.
I love my life for having thee in it. -MCD
Till death do us part.
Do you ever have a bad love story?
I bet most of you have.
If you don't? lucky you and keep up the good work :)
But no matter how painful it is, for me, i think the saddest and worst love story is to have your lover died.. I can't barely imagine if i were in that position.
Maybe i can spend a month or so, crying on my bed. Wet my pillows.
Attempted suicide? I probably will..
I really hate how a korean drama series makes my world upside down.
Sometimes it makes you laugh your ass off then suddenly makes you a cry baby.
Like this one that i've been watched recently. I assume this as my favorite one.
I can watch it over and over again.
I bet most of you have.
If you don't? lucky you and keep up the good work :)
But no matter how painful it is, for me, i think the saddest and worst love story is to have your lover died.. I can't barely imagine if i were in that position.
Maybe i can spend a month or so, crying on my bed. Wet my pillows.
Attempted suicide? I probably will..
I really hate how a korean drama series makes my world upside down.
Sometimes it makes you laugh your ass off then suddenly makes you a cry baby.
Like this one that i've been watched recently. I assume this as my favorite one.
I can watch it over and over again.
If you're a guy, this movie is a must-watch to learn how to make a hard-to-get girl fall for you.
Although she already rejected you, told you to move your ass from her life, don't wanna see your face again, left you for the will of your sake, those things are not to be mentioned after you watch this drama series.
How's your first love?
Part I
Today's morning is different.
Felt like it's not in Indo.
The weather..
The sound..
The breakfast menu.
and the smell.
Yea..
The smell totally makin' me wanna stay longer on the bed.
Part II
Have you guys watch "crazy little thing called love" yet?
It's a Thai movie.
And um..
Same as the other previous comedy romantic Thai movies,
this one is also not too different.
1. Casted by a pretty chick and a handsome man
2. Make you laugh your ass off
3. About two hours duration
4. Not so "fine" ending
One recommended thing that makes this "a must watch" movie if you're a girl is that..
the main actor is CUTE AS HELL !!!
For guys?
Don't worry. There're also a lotta cutie to enjoy on the movie :D
Hashiru
I found a new thing in me.
I love running.
Running..
chasing the sun.
after someone.
through the wind.
why?
i dunno..
just kinda like it.
i've got too much dream of running recently.
but i run nowhere and stay there.
it's so breath taking when you actually can running and avoiding something :)
Some believe that the next best thing to running, is talking about running -Anon
Longing.
Sunny day fellas :)
It's been awhile since my last post.
Part I
I never love rain like i were on Wed.It's the sexiest, saddest, and most beautiful rain i've ever experienced.
I can't take a picture of it but i enclose one that look alike from google.
I felt like the rain was inviting me to dance and cry at the same time.
Now i know why some people loves the rain.
But i still prefer the sun :)Part II
It's been 5136 hours since the last time i saw you.
You may think this is weird but the truth is..
I can't completely erase our memories from my mind.Or maybe no one has managed to make me do it :)
Don't hate me.
Don't blame me.
Don't curse me.
You'll never get the true happiness if you keep staying with me.
And i will always pray for your happiness,
even if it's not with me.Like i said,
you'll find someone a lot better than me :)Part III
The reason why i love twilight series books.
Some people find this story is boring and flat.
I can understand that.
It is actually. I don't deny it.
But i found some similarity between me and Bella.
You bet. It's not her beauty or her charming side of course.
1. Both of us love the sunheat
2. Clumsy and unbalance
3. Don't like kids but love our own baby
4. Suffer in silence type
5. Get dreams while sleeping almost all the time
6. I can't publish this one but maybe i'll tell you oneday :)
7. Very concern of other's sake
I do even know her 05 important people better than my own.
No doubt. It must be : 1. Edward
2. Renesmee
3. Jacob
4. Renee
5. Charlie
It's just.. I haven't found my Edward yet and my dad has already gone.
Automaticaly Renesmee is still on pending :)
And how i love the way Edward loves Bella.
I wish i had someone like him to love me.
But then i realize that he's just a fictional character,
which remind me that someone like him is only available on books, movies, and unreal.
Part IV
Just wanna share my wish list :)
1. Acuvue contact lens
2. Dye my hair
3. Canon lens EF 50mm F1.4 USM
4. Lasering with yenti
5. Yellow Ipod Shuffle6. Opi Nail Color
Part V
I forgot to mention princess.
How i love them more and more.
It's really fun when i'm with you guys.
It feels like we had the same thoughts, same taste.
And i can't wait for our next hang out ╭(′▽`)╯
Anon love story.
He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him.
At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised.
They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home... suddenly he asked the waiter: "would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."
Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it.
She asked him curiously: why you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea , just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there".
While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home..
Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him!
Thanks to his salty coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life...And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said:
"My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I'm dying, I'm afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again".
Her tears made the letter totally wet.
Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee? It's sweet. She replied.
At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised.
They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home... suddenly he asked the waiter: "would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."
Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it.
She asked him curiously: why you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea , just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there".
While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home..
Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him!
Thanks to his salty coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life...And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said:
"My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I'm dying, I'm afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again".
Her tears made the letter totally wet.
Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee? It's sweet. She replied.
Mirror-genic
This is sooooo me haha.. LOL
Upload from a very talented pinoy girl. You should check her massive work out here.Blog and Tumblr totally opened my eyes and made me realize that the world isn't just about a bunch of narrow minded person. Worldwide got so much to see which can inspired and motivated you to do more.
Flashin' thru' the polaroid
Got a cute application from a web just now.
It can turned out our photos into a polaroid one and the random tone's truly amazing.
I ♥ this application.
Really recommended if you're quite lazy to edit some of your pics.
You should try it once in a while.
Ask me if you wanna know what the application is.
And uhh..
Just moving to Tumblr recently.
I found it really fit for me.
Why?
Coz different with blog, Tumblr more like "post anything" "quote anything" "shares anything"
even something that's not even important at all.
You don't have to write anything and it already become a story.
I'm surely gonna stick the window tab to my tumblr page all the time.
If you kinda curious, you can check my tumblr page out and who knows it can inspire you cause that's what tumblr is for.
To inspire others :)
If you find mine is nice, you're pleased to follow me and i vow to flood your dashboard with full of nice pics and inspired quotes.
xoxo
See you in Tumblr -MCD
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